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  • Dr. Ethel Chiles-Neal

Single But Not Alone


Singleness is not a disease and for that matter neither is being married. But let's be real, if you are single, deep down inside most of us hope to find that someone with whom we can share our lives. But do not confuse singleness with being alone and think that marriage is the imminent solution. Are you really ready? Getting married does not eliminate being alone and it does not guarantee you a fulfilled life with unending happiness. If you can manage your happiness as a single person, you can manage your happiness in a marriage. Do you know anyone who is married but still alone? Do not marry marriage, I did that, it didn't work. Your singleness should not be spent trying to determine how quickly you can become unsingle (is that a word :)) If you are not already complete within yourself, another person cannot do this for you. As much as I hate to admit it, if I had received the revelation of "You Marry What You Date," I would not have made the mistakes that I made. When you transition from single to marriage, do not seek company, seek companionship. Having company (as my dad would say) fulfills for the moment. Companionship fulfills for a lifetime. Company is someone who is just visiting and afterwards will leave. Companionship is someone who seeks the means to be there forever.

Excerpt from Chapter 3 - Single But Not Alone


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