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  • Dr. Ethel Chiles Neal

You Marry What You Date: Make Yourself Happy


How often have you heard this before? When I finish high school, I will be happy. When I finish college, I will be happy. I will be happy when I find a spouse and get married, when I have children, when they grow up, when they to college, when they finish college, when they get a job. We compile this never-ending list that we chase with hopes of finally reaching that one goal that we think will at last make us happy. This type of pursuit becomes like that fallen piece of paper that runs from the chase of the wind – it stays in a perpetual forward motion never reaching a destination.

Is it possible, you may ask, for me to be happy even before I achieve any of these things? Could I really experience happiness before my King or Queen shows up in my life? Yes, it is because it is very important that before anyone else or anything else can bring happiness into your life, you should first experience happiness for yourself. You will be with yourself for the rest of your life. Anything else or anyone else outside of that has the potential to come and go.

Imagine, if you will, come to know the euphoric feeling of knowing what makes you happy and living your life on a daily basis experiencing those feelings. Now, on the other hand, think about all those other things that you feel are absolutely necessary in your life before you are introduced to the sensation of happiness. It is absolutely not up to others to love you. However, it is a tremendous blessing when you can enjoy the blissful emotions of being loved by someone else. In the meantime, learn how to love yourself.

Focus on you and how to make yourself happy. This builds your self-esteem and it creates a foundation that you can build on for a life time. This mindset of making yourself happy does not allude to becoming an egocentric, self-centered, and vain human being. No, it is a completely different viewpoint. Making yourself happy is a way to propel you into appreciating your life with an abundance of enjoyment. Loving yourself makes everything better in your life as well as your relationships and believe it or not, even your health.

So, take some me time to escape into a place of dreaming and have an honest reflection within yourself. Do not be afraid to even make a list of experiences, goals, and dreams, that will make you feel accomplished, proud, and yes, happy about who God made you. When you finally meet that love of your life, you are already familiar with and can recognize how happiness is supposed to feel. Get off of this imaginary pursuit that when you meet Mr. Right, Ms. Right, that you will finally come to experience true and divine happiness. Just think, Mr. Right or Ms. Right was there all along. All you had to do was look in the mirror and introduce yourself to the one person who could make you happier than anyone else in the world - YOURSELF. Try it, you may like it.


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