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  • Dr. Ethel Chiles Neal

Maybe Love is not for me....Yes it is.


Maybe Love is Not for Me……Yes it is.

I was attending a business meeting when I heard someone say that every day we have to imagine that everyone has an invisible sign on their forehead that says “make me feel special”. Let’s agree – everyone wants to be made to feel special. It is a human innate need, especially when we are faced with so much every day that beats us down and makes us feel that we are the only person who sometimes can miss the mark in our imperfections. While we may all seek to feel special, we all require something different to make us feel that way. But the bottom line - we all need that feeling.

While I do not intend to imply that love is solely defined as “feeling special”, they are very closely related. When I looked up the definition of feeling specialit says that this occurs when a person really matters to you and could even love you. Why do some of us seek love in our lives? Could it be because we understand that God is love, or that love strengthens us or we just want to be a priority or special to someone.

Love is for everybody. The foundation of God creating us is because He loved us and that which you were created with is something needed to continue in your journey. The problem we encounter is recognizing when someone really loves us. When I hear the comments, “love is not for me”, “I don’t need anyone to love me”, “I was married before and love didn’t work for me”, the first question I secretly want to ask is – “how bad were you hurt or what did that person do to you who told you that you were special and that they loved you?” Hurting people hurt other people. So, don’t base your perspective on love from someone who failed to love you in the first place. The truth be told, did you ever really feel special or did you just ignore the red flags and hoped it would work out anyway?

Experts will tell us that our bodies average 60% water which is why we need it daily to live. We were created with 100% of God’s love and we need it daily to live. I encourage you to rethink your thoughts on “I don’t need love in my life” or is this a statement that we say as an emotional security guard just in case agape love – unconditional love - never finds us? In the words of my Bishop, “it happened and it has passed – unload your shoulders”. Lighten your heart from past pain. Before love comes knocking, remove the past clutter from your mind, your heart. Don’t let it be so crowded with past hurts that when love comes, it cannot even find a place in your heart to make you feel special. Be blessed and I wish you much love because you are special.


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